What Christmas now means to a newly realized athiest!

i just wrote and posted this on my myspace and I thought that I would share it here. Maybe it'll help someone who may have been like me, wondering what to do with yourself this time of year. Also, if anyone likes the idea of volunteering somewhere on or around Christmas, and wants to set up something or talk about it, let me know.

Thanks, hope you like it
Lexie



What Christmas now means to me....

This last year, and especially lately, I've done lots of "soul searching" I guess you could say. Trying to figure out those big questions, what's the point and all, coming to terms with the religion I was raised in, and even though I haven't believed in it in a long time, really focusing on what I do believe in and what it means to me.

Shawn asked me the other day, pretty much, why am I on such a big "atheism kick". And it's because for once in my life, I know what I believe. And it's something that I am excited about. Finally, I'm not just an "I don't know" and I'm also not going along with whatever I'm told, kinda believing in something that I knew nothing about. Yeah, I could be wrong, but like so many of the more known people who believe like I do, I'm not concerned about that. I'm not afraid to reply, "Well what if your wrong?" I also know the day is going to come, when I'll feel comfortable talking to my parents about my new beliefs, so that there will hopefully be an understanding between us, and maybe make things easier on my sister. And unlike when I considered myself a Christian, I want to have a full understand of why I believe what I do believe, I want reasons backed by logic, instead of some religious dogma or what I want to be considered true, as opposed to what is. So lately, I've been filling up my Netflix with documentaries on the study of different religions and how atheists, scientists and historians view them. I've been reading books and keeping a journal of what I think about certain questions and subjects.

And it got me thinking, since it's the holidays and all, what this season now means to me as an atheist. Do I want to decorate a tree of knowledge instead of a Christmas tree? How do I participate in the holiday? To be snarky, do I celebrate the holiday for what it was originally meant for?

In ancient Babylon, the feast of the Son of Isis (Goddess of Nature) was celebrated on December 25. Raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving were traditions of this feast. In Rome, the Winter Solstice was celebrated many years before the birth of Christ. The Romans called their winter holiday Saturnalia, honoring Saturn, the God of Agriculture. In northern Europe, many other traditions that we now consider part of Christian worship were begun long before the participants had ever heard of Christ. The pagans of northern Europe celebrated the their own winter solstice, known as Yule. Yule was symbolic of the pagan Sun God, Mithras, being born, and was observed on the shortest day of the year. As the Sun God grew and matured, the days became longer and warmer. It was customary to light a candle to encourage Mithras (also born to a virgin mother on the 25th of December), and the sun, to reappear next year. The tree is the one symbol that unites almost all the northern European winter solstices. Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during the harsh winters as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshiping huge trees. In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25. There is little doubt that he was trying to make it as painless as possible for pagan Romans (who remained a majority at that time) to convert to Christianity.

So I decided that I am going to define what it means to me. It's basically what the Christians have done, so why can't I? After attending a Winter Solstice ritual (very beautiful by the way), I really appreciated what it stood for. And while I myself, don't feel it necessary to call on various gods for fire and water and such, I did appreciate that it's a more personal time of the year to those that held the ceremony than any empty meaningless manger scene or Christmas pageant or sermon that I've ever seen. I appreciated that it focused on a time of reflecting on the past year, recognizing faults, asking forgiveness of yourself, and voicing these things amongst friends along with what you want to change in your life and what you want out of the next year.

So for me, Christmas will mean, looking back on the past year, appreciating it for what it was, learning from past mistakes, reassessing my life and what I want in my future, especially the next year. I'll observe the more secular points of Christmas, because it's fun and kinda hard to avoid anyways. My parents raised me to not believe in Santa when I was younger, because his characteristics too much resembled God's. So since I never really believed in the former, it's not so hard for me to accept the non-existence of the latter. I'll still have a tree up, and decorate it (even if Shawn doesn't like the way I decorate my tree). But as an atheist, this time of the year, will also be a time for me to remember.

I'll remember that there are families that are torn apart, because a family member decides to walk a different road and not observe the religion of their family. I'll use it as a time to reflect on all that I've seen in my own life, that religion has done that has hurt so many. I'll remember those who have died in acts of religious violence. I'll remember the relationship that I have with my family that still clings to religion, and work to improve that relationship, despite what they may think of my beliefs, to be a good example of what you can be without religion. I'll remember what social and moral injustices are done in the name of religious morals, remember to fight for the rights of people that are repressed and infringed upon because of the religious right in politics. It will also be a time of remembering those people in my life that mean so much to me, and showing my appreciation for their unwaivering friendship and support (Presents are fun, can give up that part).


I'll remember that I represent an important group of people, a minority, that is often told that they don't believe in anything. When a theist asks me, why I celebrate Christmas, when I'm a non-believing atheist, I'll know what to tell them that I believe in. I want to start a tradition of doing some variety of volunteer work around if not on Christmas. I want to be a bigger voice in things that matter. As an atheist, I've gained some perspective. I think this is it. As nice as a heaven sounds, a second shot through reincarnation would be, I'm going to live each day, each year, like I don't have another chance. For me, this is it. And I'm more than ok with that. And I'm happy to own up to it. So this is my one shot at life, and every Christmas, I'm going to remember just how valuable that is, and to make it count.

This is beautiful. I wish I'd written it myself! :) I have a similar post on my myspace, but not so beautiful, or centered around Christmas; basically a brief bio on my journey for those from my past who wondered what had happened.
I would love to volunteer around Christmas, or any other time. I, too, have the desire to show that disbelief in gods doesn't mean disbelief in humanity, morality, kindness. (I think even religious people get these traits from somewhere other than religion - at least, the non-violent religious people - because most of them choose to follow the good from their religions and disregard the hateful.)