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How Do You Solve Personal Problems in an Atheist Way?

Boss on your back? Mother-in-law hounding you? Not sure you are ready to marry your girlfriend? If you were religious, your parish minister would no doubt help you resolve these personal dilemmas.

But if you are an atheist, where are the ministers and preachers you can go to? Who is available to help you solve personal ethical, moral or practical problems? Where’s your life coach, where’s your rabbi, where’s your Dutch Uncle lavish with advice?

Now, New York City Atheists is providing an answer. Forget the ministers and preachers; they’re just going to tell you to pray for strength to bear your burden. We have a better idea: a group that offers psychological, emotional and problem-solving support for non-believers.

We’re calling it the LIVING WITHOUT RELIGION group, led by psychotherapist Linda Ford Blaikie, L.C.S.W. It will meet once a month with the goal of helping each other resolve our personal problems through reason, scientific knowledge, empathy, logic and understanding.

There will be no charge for this cutting-edge atheist support group, but you must be a member of New York City Atheists (NYCA) to participate. (Can join at meeting.)

Linda Ford Blaikie has been a practicing licensed psychotherapist since 1974, when she got her degree in clinical social work. She worked for three years in a mental health clinic, then went into private practice, which she continues to this day. She has dealt with problems of depression, anxiety, relationship problems, work problems, phobias and a whole spectrum of emotional issues.

Mourning the Lost god

Blaikie herself comes from a very devout Catholic background. In college, she became disenchanted with Catholicism and found that she could no longer believe in god. “What happened in the next three years felt like a divorce,” she says. “I would forget I didn’t believe in god and I’d pray and I’d cry and I missed god and I missed the Virgin Mary.” But she got through it “through sheer force of will,” and has been an atheist ever since, though quietly, without much fanfare.

That changed recently: “When Obama said the word ‘nonbelievers’ in his inaugural speech, I thought, this is my hour. I now have eight years of opportunity to come out,” Blaikie says. “I realized that this is the moment when atheists need to gain ground, demand respect and be on an equal footing with religious groups.”

Blaikie believes that in the LIVING WITHOUT RELIGION support group, there will be people who are recovering from religion as well as those who are intellectually “already there” but who need to emotionally mourn the loss of their religion and resume living a moral and ethical life without the aid of any supernatural deity. “They lost their comfort, their Daddy, their community, their rosary beads, their protection. In our group, we hope to accelerate the recovery process and learn the joys of atheism from each other.”

Small Groups
Blaikie became interested in the concept of an atheist support group when she read about the Recovering from Religion groups started by Dr. Darrel Ray, Ed.D, of Kansas City. Dr. Ray recognized that people who are separating from the religion that they had been inculcated into as children needed the support of others who were in the same situation or who had already gone through it. He started Recovering from Religion groups in Kansas City, Cleveland and Cincinnati that were so effective, the concept has now spread to about 15 cities nationwide.

According to Dr. Ray, “We meet in small groups of six to 10 people. We follow simple guidelines that ensure meetings and events are productive and provide real support for those who attend. No one has all the answers but we think there are answers to be found in openly sharing and discussing.”

Blaikie followed the progress of Dr. Ray’s groups, noted their rapid proliferation and felt that this was a process that could be adapted to atheist groups in New York. She recognizes that our New York community is very different from Kansas City or Des Moines: Many New York atheists have been nonbelievers for a long time. And while some New Yorkers are still dealing with separation-from-religion issues, many are also dealing with the problems beyond separation, such as how to deal with an urban world in which atheists are estranged or misunderstood or live lonely lives isolated from other atheists. Blaikie believes that a support group along the lines of Dr. Ray’s groups can help in every aspect of dealing with life problems—from job issues to health problems to relationship dilemmas—in a secular, logic-based way,

The LIVING WITHOUT RELIGION group will meet on the second Wednesday of each month, starting November 11. To RSVP, simply telephone group facilitator Jane Everhart at 212-879-2687. In line with Dr. Ray’s philosophy, we will start 12 people, so first come, first served. But we will put your name on the waiting list in case someone doesn’t show up or drops out.

EVENT SUMMARY

WHAT: LIVING WITHOUT RELIGION atheist support group led by
psychotherapist Linda Ford Blaikie, L.C.S.W.

WHEN: Wednesday, December 9, 2009 at 7 pm

WHERE: Location will be given to participants when you sign up

COST: Free. But participants must be members of New York City Atheists Inc. (Can join ay meeting.)

RSVP to: Jane Everhart,
Director of Communications,
New York City Atheists
212-879-2687

New York City Atheists Inc. is a 501C not-for-profit association dedicated to the separation of church and state and to promoting the atheist life style and values. All are welcome, including agnostics, humanists, secularist, freethinkers, skeptics and those who are simply questioning and seeking.

Daring Duo Hosts NYCA Meetup Again!

You Loved Them, You Asked For Them—

They Are Back on Tuesday, Dec. 15

You loved having Alexandra and Michael host the November New York City Atheists meetup—55 of you showed up, and the discussions sizzled!

We are lucky to be able to get the darling duo back again: Pert, smart Alexandra Sidiropoulos, whose ancestors came from Greece, the land of Socrates, and handsome, talented Michael Dorian, film director extraordinaire.

They will be at the Stone Creek Bar & Pub on Tuesday, December 15, to lead another scintillating atheist discussion.

Church Camp Victim

Alexandra is originally from Missouri (just like the old saying “she’s from Missouri” implies, Alex questions everything). She became an atheist after a childhood experience at a church summer camp that was very much like the one depicted in the notorious “Jesus Camp” movie. Today, she is working as an administrative assistant in a law firm that specializes in intellectual property

Michael Dorian, film director, playwright and educator, is the director and producer of the award-winning documentary film, “Pizza, The Movie,” which was recently chosen to be shown on ION, Channel 31 in New York. This fascinating, funny film is about the highly competitive rivalry in pizza-dough throwing contests here and in Italy.

Finds Humor in Religion

Michael, who also teaches in New York, has been an atheist and a member of NYCA for several years. He picketed the Pope with us and he started NYCA’s blog. He is an intelligent, articulate, outspoken discussion leader who brings logic and common sense to the table. He also happens to have a terrific sense of humor (like another film director, Woody Allen) that shows up in his film. But with Michael, it’s not a self-deprecating form of comedy but rather, humor based on the contradictions and idiocies of our society.

Come, share your views with a group of friendly, like-minded people. Stay afterwards to chat with our charming hosts. You will also have an opportunity to buy a DVD of Michael’s film, “Pizza, The Movie.”

And remember, so far we have had five couples heading for the altar who met at our Stone Creek Meetup: One marriage, two engagements and two going-steady couples. Who knew that our vivid, heated discussions would set cupid’s arrows roving? Not us.

EVENT SUMMARY

WHAT: Discussion led by Alexandra Sidiropoulos and
Michael Dorian

WHEN: Tuesday, Dec. 15, at 7 p.m.

WHERE: The Stone Creek Bar and Pub

140 E. 27th St. (Bet. Lex & 3rd)

Back Room

COST: FREE. But we hope you will purchase a drink or food to

compensate Stone Creek for letting us use their space.

The food is good and reasonably priced and they have

an excellent selection of beers.

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New York City Atheists Inc. is a 501C not-for-profit organization dedicated to the separation of church and state and to promoting the Atheist lifestyle and values. All are welcome, including agnostics, freethinkers, skeptics and those who are simply questioning and seeking.